Being There

Martha held the phone to her ear and counted the rings. One, two, three
“Hello?”
Martha began to cry at the sound of her brother’s voice.
“Shawn, I’ve lost my job and I’m coming home” Were the only audible words between the sobs before she completely broke down.
Martha stood in the doorstep of her childhood home. When their parents had past away the home was left to Shawn. She had always been jealous of her brother, Martha had to work hard to get everything she wanted and Shaun had everything handed to him. Martha could hear someone rustling to get the door and her heart sank to her stomach when she saw her brother. He looked emaciated, weak and pale. There were black circles around his eyes that showed he was exhausted. Martha tried hard not to cry but tears streamed down her cheeks and she struggled to say anything. Shaun just smiled at her and took her hand and led her inside the big house to the living room. Martha noticed that nothing had change since she moved out when their parents died. Shaun sat her down on the couch and sat be side her still holding her hand. Martha looked at her brother and hugged him tightly. She started to cry.
“Why haven’t you called me?” asked Martha.
“I tried a million times but I didn’t want you to worry about me” he said.
“Tell me about it. How long have you been like this?” she asked still examining him.
“It’s been almost two years now. I had Leukemia and it’s been gone for three months now. I had treatment every week.” He replied, smiling.
Martha felt as if the weight on her back was gone and she could breathe again. She couldn’t bare to lose her brother too. She had no one but him. It’s been three years since their parents died and she never visited or called him for three years and she felt really awful about that. She felt guilty for not being there for him when he needed her the most. She could feel anger building up, she was so angry at herself for not even thinking about seeing how he was because she was so caught up in her own life and forgot about him.
“How could I be so selfish?” She asked herself out loud.
“You’re not.” He said reassuringly.
“Yes, I am. I am a cruel person. I never even called to check up on you.” She said, crying even more.
“ Stop blaming yourself for my illness. Nobody could’ve done anything to prevent it. It’s gone now and you’re here, that’s all that matters.” He assured her.
“ I’ve missed you so much. I won’t leave you again and I promise to be there for you through anything.” She promised him.
“ Okay.” He said. “ I have another appointment with the doctor next month, It’s just to run a few tests and to make sure the cancer is in remission.” He said as if it was nothing important.
“ The house hasn’t changed one bit.” Martha said, trying to change the subject because she didn’t want to think about him dying.
“What is there to change? Mom was always good at interior decorating. I didn’t change anything so that I can remember her that way. There isn’t anything I would change about them.” He said with a big smile on his face.
It was a huge two story house with a master bedroom, 2 guest rooms and each room had a bathroom. The living room and the kitchen were both decorated with classic motif and furnished with antique furniture and the rooms were all very elegant.
The weeks past by so quickly and it was already Shaun’s appointment at the Hospital. Martha made breakfast and coffee, she waited for Shaun to get up and come down for breakfast. She waited for a good half hour before he came down into the kitchen, still in his Pajamas.
“ Good Morning” Martha said with a warm smile.
“ Morning” he said looking tired as usual.
Martha asked him if he was anxious about the visit to the doctor today. She told him that she would come with him if he’d like. She had to drive him anyways because she forbade him not to get behind the wheel with him like this.
“ I’m praying and crossing my fingers that it’ll be good news” she said worryingly.
“I hope so too. But, there is something you should know.” He said with a serious look on his face.
“ What is it?” She asked curiously.
“ Well, I have been thinking a lot about this and I think it’s for the best and I hope you will try and understand.” He said looking into her eyes pleadingly. There was a long pause.
“ Well, aren’t you going to tell me what it is before I go crazy trying to figure it out?” she asked, hoping it was nothing serious.
“ If the cancer comes back, I do not plan to get anymore treatment. I have to accept the fact that I’m dying from this cancer and all those treatments cause a lot of pain for me and I don’t want anymore of that. I really hope you can try to understand what I am going through.” He said looking away.
Martha felt like her heart shattered into a million pieces. Rage was building up inside her.
“ Why would you so such a stupid thing ?!” She said angrily.
“ Because I know that treatment wouldn’t change the fact that I’m dying. I don’t want to suffer my whole life. I accept the fact that my time is coming.” He said looking into her eyes again and trying to find some understanding. Martha couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She looked out the kitchen window and she was a little girl playing with her brother and she felt a wave of sadness. It hurts to know that her own brother wanted to die. You’re going to leave me all alone?” she said sadly.
“It’ll be okay and you’ll have the house to yourself.” He laughed.
“It’s not funny! Why can’t you take this seriously?” she yelled.
“I hope you’ll see all of this from my perspective. My time is coming just like the time was came for our parents.” He said staring at Martha in the eye, unblinking. Martha broke the gaze and turned her eyes down to the clock and noticed it ways time for the appointment.
“We’re going be late for you’re doctor’s appointment. Go and get dressed. I’ll be waiting in the car.” Martha stood and attempted to shake off the anxiety of conversation, in the silence of the kitchen. She heard Shawn begin to climb the stairs, and suddenly heard a thump, lub,lub,lub sound. “Are you okay?” Martha shouted as she ran to the stairs to see Shawn huddled at the base of the stairs. She picked up the and heard three tones as she dialed for help.
Martha held her cup of tears she nervously bounded her knee, waiting to hear anything. A nurse in passing whispered “ You can see him now.”
“How are you feeling?” Martha asked quietly.
“I feel tired but I’m okay.” He said.
“What did the doctor say? Is it good news?” asked Martha, she was very nervous and she prayed in her head that it was good news. Shaun was silent for a moment and he finally said, “The cancer is in remission, it’s back and I have about a month left.”
Martha froze, unable to say anything she just let herself fall into his chest and cried. She felt like her heart was melting to her stomach. She begged him to get treatment but he shook his head and said it was too late to do anything.
Two weeks had passed and Martha never left her brother. She stayed by his side all the time. She didn’t want to miss all his last days of his life. Shaun was out in the pool and Martha sat on the patio. It was a hot sunny day, there were no clouds in the sky.
“What would you say if I invited you on a trip?” he asked still swimming in the pool.
“A trip? Where?” she asked surprisingly.
“Anywhere” he replied.
“Be more specific” she said still taken by surprise.
“Anywhere you want.” He said smiling.
“I can’t go anywhere I want. I can’t afford it.” She said looking sad.
“Don’t worry about that. So would you?” he said.
“Anywhere?” she asked with a big smile on her face.
“Anywhere” he said still smiling.
“I always wanted to go to Paris.” She said beaming.
“Paris it is!” he said happily.
“When can we go?” she asked him, feeling a wave of happiness.
“Now, let’s pack and get out of here.” He said, excited as she was.
“Wow. So sudden. Um, Okay then.” she said excitedly.
They were all packed in 20 minutes and headed to the airport. Fourteen hours later they were getting off the plane in the Paris airport. Martha couldn’t believe she was in Paris. It was her dream to go here with someone she loved and cared about but she never thought it would be her brother. She thanked him a million times before the got the their hotel. The hotel was beautiful and their suite was unbelievable. The room had 2 bedrooms and each had it’s own bathroom. The view was amazing and breath taking.
“Why don’t we head out for dinner?” Shaun asked.
“Okay, I’m starving.” Martha replied rubbing her stomach.
They were ready within a few minutes. Shaun asked the receptionist where the nearest restaurant was. The restaurant was only around the corner where the hotel was. Their hunger was satisfied and they couldn’t get over of how good the food was in Paris.
“Let’s go for a walk, if you’re not too tired.” Martha said.
“Okay. Let me get the check first.” He said looking for the waiter.
Martha waited for Shaun outside the restaurant. They headed towards the sound of music and people. The music was coming from the park and there were lots of people enjoying themselves. Martha and Shaun really enjoyed themselves too. They were singing and dancing. They took a break and sat on the bench. Martha could see Shaun was tired and she told him that they should be heading back now. They walked slowly back to the hotel.
“Thank you for a wonderful night.” She said to Shaun and he smiled. He hugged her and led her to their room.
The next morning they called room service for breakfast and they decided to go sightseeing. Like any other day in Paris, it was hot. Martha wore a sundress and Shaun had shorts and tank top on. They were out in the sun about four hours when Shaun decided to head back to rest for a little bit. It turned out that Shaun was really tired and they stayed in all day. Martha didn’t mind because she wanted her brother to get some rest. He was more important than anything else.
The following day they decided to visit Rome. There were on the early flight to Rome. Looking out from the window of the plane, Rome was beautiful. Martha was so amazed by the sight. Once they landed, they decided they would check in the hotel later and they left their baggage at a locker, they explored Rome. They went sight-seeing and took lots of pictures. They had supper at a small restaurant in the airport.
“I had fun today. Thanks for everything, Shawn.” Said Martha.
“No problem. I love to see you happy and having a good time.” Smiled Shaun.
They decided to call it a night. Martha went to get the bags and Shawn looked for a taxi. Shaun checked in the hotel. They went up and they were exhausted they just slept right away.
Martha was the first one to wake in the morning. She ordered room service for two and waited patiently for her brother to wake up. Few minutes he was rustling in his room and he came to sit with me in the kitchenette. Shaun looked pale and exhausted.
“Are you feeling okay?” Martha asked anxiously.
“I’m okay, I’m just a little tired. Don’t worry.” He replied.
“Okay.” Said Martha.
“What would you like to do today?” he asked while pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“I don’t think you should be going anywhere.” She told him looking worried.
“Don’t be silly. I’m fine, really.” He promised.
“Well, okay then. I would like to do a little more shopping.” She said.
“I’ll be waiting for you at the lobby.” He told her.
Like any other day in the beautiful city of Rome, it was hot and the sun was shining. They explored Rome and was amazed by everything. After a few hours of walking through the streets of the city, they found a little mall on the corner of a street. Martha bought a few clothes and some souvenirs. Shaun told her that he’ll be across the store they were in to the small shop. When Martha was done looking, she went to the cashier counter. She heard screams and looked what was going on. People were clustered in the small shop. She remember that Shaun went there and dropped her bags to run and see if he was alright. She was terrified just thinking that anything would happen to him. She pushed through the crowd and saw it was Shaun lying on the floor. He wasn’t breathing. Blood drained from her face and fell to the floor beside him. Someone in the crowd said they’ve called 911 and the ambulance should be here any minute. I heard the paramedics telling the people to back off and give them space. Martha was with Shaun the whole way and she prayed for her brother to make it. She sobbed in his chest begging him to breathe.They rushed him inside the hospital as soon as the ambulance stopped. I had to wait impatiently in the waiting room. After an hour, the doctor came and the look on his face meant she’d lost her brother. Martha broke down and her heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces. The doctor told her that his heart failed because of the cancer. He was gone. Martha never felt so lonely in her life. She sat on the edge of his bed in the hotel where he last slept. She just stared out the window for the longest time. She decided to start packing and made a reservation to fly home the next morning. She took her brother home.
by Amanda Swappie